I'm so glad to see him growing up, but I'm also sad that he has had to learn how to be a mini adult so soon.
He definitely enjoyed the Minion cake, the Lego Star Wars ship, and the numerous birthday cars. I enjoyed the fact that no one gave him money, and no one encouraged the usual "I want my presents". He's actually learned that that isn't appropriate behaviour. It's not okay to ask those questions, it's actually rude. I'm glad he's figured this out. (It's about time.)
Master six is getting along quite nicely. He's had a wonderful time here for a few weeks, and I'm glad to see him settled and happy. It's been a while. Homework is getting done easily, and it's obvious other people have spent some quality time with him. He lives and breathes on it.
I'm not sure where to keep going from here though? Everything has finally settled, can I settle now? It's about time, yes? Calming down, not feeling so down about the things that are going on around us. It has been so complicated for so long, maybe now we are getting our break.
So many things can change in a week here. We've gone from being constantly worried about Master six, and the now Master nine, to being at ease, because they have finally figured it out. Seriously. I'm enjoying the peace of it, but worried about what's coming up next. It has always worried me in fact. I've always worried if something will or wont happen. It's almost like Karma. Do this, and this will happen, etc. etc.
When I was younger, I used to refuse to daydream about things, because when I daydreamed about things that were going to happen, they never turned out the way I imagined, and I was always disappointed. I then got to the point of imagining the worst, so that I knew it couldn't get any worse when I was in fact going through the said disaster. It has turned me into someone quite negative in my outlook of other people and situations. I seem to second guess motives, and worry about what others are really thinking. It makes it quite hard to live in the standard social world, where pretty much every one else thinks differently to you.
I feel I really must explore this Asperger's idea. It's seriously worth a mention, with my biological father being who he is, and how he portrays himself, it's definitely worth a mention in my lovely list of human defects. There's got to be a reason why I think so differently to the other people in this world. For now I can just make the decision daily to be positive about the things I can control, otherwise, I will just keep on spiralling down into depression.
Maybe I'm destined to be there anyway.
