Primary Stress

After another night of not really sleeping much, I figured I could write about stress.

The things that plague me the most are what people say about me behind my back, the second most is the kids, in particular the boys, and then the care I get with the girls. Other things are money, because no matter how well I budget, I'm always short for the supermarket.

Generally in the last few fortnights, I've spent about $70-$120 in groceries at Coles, then I've gone to the fruit n veg market for $30 ish, then Kmart for basics, like clothes, bras etc. believe me, I'm desperate for the bras and the jeans at the moment. 3/4 pants in Tasmanian autumn is a KILLER. Other than that, my expenditure is rent, phone, electricity and my pet hatred, the loan that I have with my ex-husband. It's currently sitting on $22,144 owing. Yeah. That aint no small amount. When I subtract 6 thou from that, so that my ex pays for the car, then half the remaining amount to 8 thou, that's what I owe. And it isn't going anywhere soon.

The amount of care I get with my girls plagues me, simply because I feel like I never see them, and when I do, I'm always stressed. My partner and I have always agreed that Saturdays we will see our own kids separately to the other person, for one on one time, the only thing is, with the girls, this is the only day I see them out of school anyway! So, he normally comes along at some point, but we make a point of it for his kids, because they need the daddy time. Long story short, their mother is constantly saying nasty things to them about me, and they feel like daddy is going to leave them for me, so they need extra time with him.

I wont start about the boys, because that could take a few blogs of me whinging about his ex, houses and money, but I'll just say, we are grateful for the 5 days a fortnight that we get to prove that those kids are good kids, when they are given boundaries and good nutrition. It really isn't that hard, but it seems to be for the one who doesn't have any responsibility.

Thank God, that He gave me a decent brain, and I know how to use it.