It's off week, in my house, and it's quiet, cold, and bare. The kids room is tidy for it's longest consecutive time in a month, and the freshly made cupcakes haven't been demolished. There's no need to worry about the school pick-up 20 minutes ago, and the 3 year old isn't craving my attention. Yep, it's DEFINITELY off week.
When we started the arrangement between the two houses, our head-spaces were shot with what was going to happen, the gossip of what had happened, and what we were to do here and now. We sorted an arrangement that best suited our girls, and we decided that no matter what crap happened between us, they would always be a priority.
It's the things that we didn't fine tune are the things that are plaguing me the most. I really want 2 weekend days for the girls and myself. I really want to spend all of mother's day with my kids. I don't want to wait until the school holidays to have a few hours of one on one time with my eldest. And I think that Sunday to Sunday only suits the opposing parent in this situation. From my perspective, Friday to Friday would be better for the kids. A weekend with the parent that they are about to spend the week with sounds like a better alternative to Sunday evening til Friday evening of the school house shuffle, THEN the weekend to have family time. But, because I'm the only one who see's this, I'm wrong. How lovely is that? And if I want it, I have to fight for it.
I wonder in the years to come, if my eldest will ask why we never spent time at Mummy's house on a Sunday? What will my answer be? Because your Father and his family decided that you couldn't? Geez, won't that be fun....
The week on, week off idea is a good one for parents who can easily communicate through their differences. So, obviously this doesn't work in the case of my partner and his ex, who cannot agree with anything if he does. Even down to who makes sure his kids wash their hands after the toilet, it has to be him. What rights does a mother actually have, when the children are in their father's care? I believe the problem that is actually occurring in this instance is the ex's insane jealousy.
More than a year ago, my partner was kicked out of the home he had almost finished building, because his wife had gotten annoyed, got into yet another argument, and blamed it on other people. She had said, it's either me and the kids, or your family, not both. He had said no, it wasn't up to her whether he saw his family or not, especially when they had done nothing wrong. Within weeks, she had started stories about the family "abusing" HER children, inappropriate touching between their (married) Aunt and Uncle, and how they had smacked her children without her permission (they didn't). Unfortunately, what she did not realise was that a LOT of people knew this family, and not one person even remotely believed her. A year later, she's removed all of the mutual friends from Facebook, bitches to anyone about her ex, that he left her for another woman. In the time that my partner and I have been together, there has always been a dramatic episode going on for her. About mid last year, I remember her saying that she's so sick, she might be dying soon. Munchausen's if you ask me! It's always one thing after another. There is always a problem, never a nice thing to say, and from my point of view, the children are ALWAYS in better care when they are within our responsibility.
Still, my point is week about isn't for every family, but it suits us fairly well.
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